IT Conversation

Husband: (Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
 

Wife???: Have you brought the grocery?
 

Husband: Bad command or file name.
 

Wife???: But I told you in the morning!
 

Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?
 

Wife???: What about my new TV?
 

Husband: Variable not found....
 

Wife???: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
 

Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
 

Wife???: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
 

Husband: Too many parameter...
 

Wife???: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
 

Husband: Data type mismatch.
 

Wife???: You are useless.
 

Husband: It`s by Default.
 

Wife???: What about your Salary?
 

Husband: File in use... Try later.
 

Wife???: What is my value in the family.
 

Husband: Unknown Virus

MORAL: 

Beware before getting married to an IT pro.

Application Rejection

Baxter Conners
Vice President
Company 203
203 Wall St.
New York, NY 10015

Dear Mr. Conners,

Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your bank.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Company 203's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.

Sincerely,
XXXXXXXX

Skydiving Blind

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog."

"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.

"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."

Cow On Train Tracks

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

"What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.

Within five minutes, however, it stops again.

The woman sees the same conductor walk again.

She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"