Sneaking In

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no no !" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

Lawyer's Offer

In the middle of the night, middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the center of the road. They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, although neither is hurt. It’s impossible to assess blame for the accident on either however.

They both get out. One is a doctor, one is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his car phone; they’ll be there in 20 minutes.

It’s cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts drinks and hands it back to the lawyer, who puts it away.

"Aren’t you going to have a drink?" the doctor says.

"AFTER the police get here" replies the lawyer.