Sneaking In

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no no !" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

My Wife's Hearing

A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing isn't as good as it used to be. What should I do?" The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure.

When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn't respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you."

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, "What's for dinner, honey?" He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. still no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

She replies, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!"

Automotive Horror

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

IT Conversation

Husband: (Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
 

Wife???: Have you brought the grocery?
 

Husband: Bad command or file name.
 

Wife???: But I told you in the morning!
 

Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?
 

Wife???: What about my new TV?
 

Husband: Variable not found....
 

Wife???: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
 

Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
 

Wife???: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
 

Husband: Too many parameter...
 

Wife???: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
 

Husband: Data type mismatch.
 

Wife???: You are useless.
 

Husband: It`s by Default.
 

Wife???: What about your Salary?
 

Husband: File in use... Try later.
 

Wife???: What is my value in the family.
 

Husband: Unknown Virus

MORAL: 

Beware before getting married to an IT pro.